Vashti: Called to Step Down?

The book of Esther introduces us to one woman before we meet the star of the story. Meet Vashti, the queen of Persia. We meet her in the midst of celebration. While King Ahauserus was having a party for the men in the kingdom, Vashti was hosting her own banquet for the women.

Ahauserus called to Vashti to come and dance for his crowd because he wanted to show off her beauty (Esther 1:11). However, Vashti refused. With one act, Vashti had not only broken the law of the land by disobeying the king, but she had defied the rule of the home by being defiant to her husband.

The king and his men gathered to discuss what her punishment should be. Quickly, the fear among them became that all women would follow the example of Vashti and begin going against their husbands. It appears all of Persia was affected by the example of the queen. The men made a quick decision to banish Vashti from her throne and seek another queen. Because of one decision the king did not like, Vashti’s royal position was up for grabs.

I'll admit. Whenever I've read Esther before, I've rushed through this part of the story. After all, the good part starts when my girl Esther comes on the scene. But this time...I've really had a hard time getting past Vashti. I've been asking myself one question over and over again.

Was Vashti wrong?

Maybe. She might have been wrong. Selfishly, she may have been having fun with her friends and just wanted to stay at her own party. But what if that wasn't her motive? What if her response was out of respect for herself and the created purpose of a woman?

After all, the king had requested that she come dance in front of him and all of his guests. Hear me out first. While I agree that wives are called to submit to their husbands, I also know that Vashti was a human being, created in God’s image. I don’t think complying to her husband’s demands to dance in front of him and his drunk friends (who would have nothing in their hearts for her but lust) sounds like the submission described in Scripture. Her courage to protect her dignity and purity would be admirable in this case.

On this earth, we may never know the motive behind Vashti’s actions. Scripture doesn't reveal her motive. However, from knowing the whole story of Esther, we can be sure of one thing. God didn’t need Vashti in place to save His people. He needed a Jew so He made arrangements to bring Esther into power.

But what about Vashti? She was banished into exhile in a world whee news of the deliverance of the Jews may have taken years to reach her...or may have never reached her at all. She couldn't check Esther's Facebook status update: "Just saved the Jewish nation. Guess God needed me to be queen for a reason!"

I wonder how Vashti must have felt. IF (and I stress the word IF)she did refuse the king's wishes out of spiritual conviction, how do you think it felt to be removed from your position of influence for doing the right thing? Was she bitter? Did she resent God, think He was unfair and reufse to trust Him again? Or did she know in her heart that God's plan was best, thank Him for the king choosing to banish her instead of kill her and praise Him from exhile?

I guess it's always been easier for me to relate to Esther because I've always prayed for God to use me like he used Esther. Since I read this story in elementary school, I've prayed for courage to step up. I've prayed for a position of influence so I could make a difference for him. Sure, Esther had to take risks, and she took some pretty hard knocks in life (death of both of her parents, being raised by her older cousin, etc.), but wouldn't the satisfaction of your obedience to God's plan for your life and the perks of being queen compensate for that?

Vashti's life has helped me recognize that God might not always call us to step up. Sometimes, He may call us to step down. God choosing to use someone else doesn't neccessarily mean that we did anything wrong. It just means that He knows what we cannot know. And even though it's definitely harder to accept stepping down, shouldn't we praise Him just the same for revealing Himself to a lost world...even if He uses someone else to do it?

As I have been wrestling with this, Steve Furtick, a pastor in North Carolina, eluded to this same idea with a Twitter post just last week. It simply said, "Motive check: What if God does everything you ask Him to do in your city, but He does it through someone else's ministry?" (Follow him by clicking here.)

This doesn't mean we shouldn't desire to be used like Esther. But it does mean that if instead, God calls us to step down like Vashti, we should praise him and trust Him just the same.

My prayers are different now. Instead of requesting favor, I'm asking for wisdom to trust Him in decision making. I don't want to doubt his response to my prayers. Sometimes, I will like His answer, but at other times, I'm sure I will not understand His choice. I want to fully grasp with my words and my actions that His ways are higher than my ways and His thoughts are higher than my thoughts, just as Isaiah 55:8-9 teaches.

Work from Home? Check Out this Site!

Recently, I found a great website that I wanted to pass on to you - a website dedicated to helping women and moms fulfill their dreams of working at home and/or becoming self employed, while providing inspiration, motivation and support. Here’s how it all got started… Meet the Work at Home Woman.

The moment Holly Hanna became a mom, she knew she wouldn't be able to return to her full-time job. Motivated to find a way to make some extra money from home, she started asking past employers and friends if there was any work that I could do for them while caring for my daughter at home. Her networking efforts paid off. In December 2007, she started working from home by completing marketing research, establishing joint ventures and working as a social network liaison for a small publishing company that a friend was working for.

During this time, Holly learned a lot of valuable marketing skills and became very familiar with the work at home market. Motivated to become self employed and to help other women and mothers do the same, she decided to create this website and share my research and knowledge with other women who had the desire to work from home. The Work at Home Woman strives to be YOUR number one business resource & blog for legitimate work at home jobs, opportunities, ideas and support.

You can check out my latest article I wrote for this website by clicking the title - "Tips on Working from Home without Tipping the Scales."

Enjoy!

ESTHER: The Power of God's Presence

Over the next few weeks, I will be posting thoughts from one of my favorite books of the Bible as I re-read Esther. Hope you'll keep checking back to see what God is teaching me.

I remember when I first began reading the Bible on my own in elementary school. The book of Esther stood out to me as one of the first books I wanted to read because it is one of the only books of the Bible that bears a woman’s name in the title. It quickly became one of my favorite books.

In high school, I got very excited when my youth pastor’s wife decided to do a Bible study for the girls in Esther. During the first week, she was setting up the story. Suddenly, out of her mouth, I heard, “God’s name is never mentioned in the book.”

Puzzled, I looked at her like she must have made a mistake. Thumbing through my Bible, I began skimming chapters. I didn’t want to prove her wrong, but I knew she had gotten that wrong. I had read the book at least ten times, and I knew I would find His name within seconds.

But she was right. His name is not mentioned, not even once.

Charles Swindoll may explain this best as he observed, “God’s presence is not as intriguing as His absence. His voice is not as eloquent as His silence…Yet later, we realize how very present He was all along.”

Sure, it’s awesome to read in Scripture about God speaking through a burning bush to Moses, in dreams to Joseph and writing on the wall to Daniel. However, there may not be a book of the Bible that’s easier for us to understand today than God in the book of Esther.

Think about the role of the director of a movie. He controls every scene. From the actors who play each character to the when, where and how each scene is filmed, the director calls the shots. His name is the first to appear before the film starts and mentioned first on the ending credits. While he never appears on the screen, his fingerprints are all over the film.

That’s very similar to how God works in our lives. When we express faith in His Son, we may not be able to physically see Him or audibly speak with Him, but He is always there to direct our steps.

As I was reminded of this truth today, I couldn't help but ask myself the question,
"Does my life reflect the God I serve so much that without mentioning His name, others can feel His presence?" Many times, I know my answer would disappoint me.

So today, I spent some quiet moments in prayer asking God to daily control my life and consume me with the desire to fully trust Him. As I have admitted before, I am a control freak...but the chance that others will see that God is in me and at work in my life is far more important than my initial comfort level.

Notice I say initial comfort level. Because everytime I let go of myself and cling to the Lord, that's when He chooses to use me. I love those moments when I get to praise my Savior for allowing me to be a small part of His story. Nothing makes me feel more alive than being used by Christ.

I am praying for the attitude of Paul: "I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me" (Galatians 2:20).

Look at the picture posted with this blog. I was blown away by the beauty of this scene. God may not physically be here, but His fingerprints are all over this world. Starting today, I'm going to ask myself a new question each day:

What am I doing to make His presence known?

Beauty By Design - My Interview with Alyssa Avant

Yesterday, I had the honor of being interviewed on the Mom-Daughter Connection Radio Podcast. Alyssa Avant has a fantastic ministry, and yesterday, her topic was anorexia nervosa. Alyssa set up our conversation very well on her blog (www.beautybydesignonline.com), so I'm going to re-post her comments and attach a link to the podcast. I hope you will listen.

For today’s show I interviewed a young lady in ministry, Michelle Myers, who several years ago struggled with a big temptation and sin in her life. Her sin was unlike some that teens struggle with, but all the same it was the area where Satan attacked her life.
She shares her story of dealing with anorexia, bringing her close to death, but ultimately closer to Christ. She now shares her story as a way to share Christ with others. It is an awesome testimony all young girls need to hear.

I want to thank Michelle for being on the show and tell you that you must keep an eye out, as Michelle is writing a book that is a must have. She’ll be back on the show once it is available and we’ll be sure to help you know where to get your copy. Thanks Michelle!


Please listen to the podcast by clicking here.

Why I Don't Read the Twilight Series

I love to read. I always have. Usually, when a popular series comes out, I'm curious enough to at least check it out at the library. After all, regardless of whether it's my favorite genre or not, if it's good enough to get national attention, I figure I can at least learn something as a writer.

However, I was extremely skeptical about Stephanie Meyer's Twilight series. Call me crazy, but there didn't really seem anything too appealing to me about reading a teen "romance" novel if you can even call it that, since the guy is a vampire. Working on a master's degree gave me plenty of reading material, so I put reading the teen saga on hold.

Then, it seemed like the Twilight phenomenon exploded in my life. Tons of the women in our church's young adults ministry were reading them. My hairdresser gushed about them. This was expanding way beyond the tween market!

My breaking point happened when one of the guys in the college ministry put up a Facebook status that said, "[His name] is better than Edward Cullen." Girls came out of the woodworks to comment. Most of the responses were outright violent! How dare him EVEN think that he could ever be better than their precious Edward!

"He's a fictional character!" I thought. "Don't these girls understand how ridiculous they sound?"

That was enough to convince me I needed to see what the big fuss was all about.

Just a few chapters in, I realized why every girl who read these books was head over heels in love with Edward Cullen.

He's perfect...if you can overlook that whole vampire thing.

He's tall, dark and handsome. (His skin even sparkles in the sunlight!) He's mysterious. He's always the at the right place at the right time. He's a good guy. He refuses to pressure Bella sexually. In fact, he turns down her advances. And the best part? His one-liners.

"I dream about being with you forever."

"Look after my heart. I've left it with you."

"Do you really have any idea how important you are to me? Any concept at all of how much I love you?"

If you prefer poetic imagery, how about this?

"Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars - points of light and reason...And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything."

After reading that phrase, I thought, "Come on, James. Why can't you ever say something like that?!"

And that was when I realized I had to put the book down.

I'm not going to go so far to say that all men are wired one way and all woman are wired another way. There may be some women out there who could read this without becoming personally involved in the story. But I know myself, and I know that this book is dangerous territory for me.

Why? Because I am most attracted to sensuality and emotionally-filled words.

For women who think like me, allow me to flip flop the situation for you.

Let's say your husband is like mine, meaning he would choose sexuality over sensuality, and if he had to choose between seeing you and hearing you, he would always prefer to be able to look at you. Knowing this about him, would you say that it's perfectly safe for him to watch pornography? What about a simple sex scene in a movie with a female actress that you know he thinks is extremely attractive?

No way.

My husband and I both made "True Love Waits" commitments in middle school, meaning that we vowed we would not have sex until we were married. For 23 years, I heard women talk about how "sex isn't like they show it on TV." Now that I'm married, I know they're right...and to be honest, it really frustrates me.

Here's the bottom line. It's the media's job is to attract viewers. What better way to ensure that you have a captivated audience than show men exactly what they want to see?

They show the woman engrossed in a one night stand, but they don't show her regret the next day...or the fact that she struggles with trusting people for the rest of her life. They show the female as the pursuer in the bedroom, but they don't show the insecurity she feels inside. I won't go into details here, but they show how sex is picture perfect and passion-filled from the beginning...when in reality, the only way to make sex enjoyable is to have it with one person and learn from one another over time. They show the couple having sex multiple times a day...when let's be honest - if you have jobs and responsibilities, most couples are doing pretty good if they average a couple of times a week.

Because of the way sex is often portrayed in the media, not even including pornography, it sets unclear expectations on women from their spouses. Even for couples who wait like my husband and I did, at the beginning, sex was nothing like he expected. The media had put unclear expectations in his head of what the "ideal sex life" was like.

It makes me angry that the media can fill our heads with these lies. Trust me. Marriage is a blessing, but it takes work. Additional complications are not neccessary! Putting wives on TV who wake up in the morning looking as perfect as they did before they washed their makeup off, who work full-time, start dinner and give their husband "dessert" on a nightly basis is just not realistic!

It's just as unrealistic as expecting my husband to know exactly what to say to take my breath away each time he opens his mouth.

As I've already pointed out, Edward Cullen isn't real. He's a fictional character...and a fictional character CREATED BY A WOMAN at that. Of course he knows to say exactly what every woman wants to hear. A woman wrote the book!

Again, I'm not saying that this should be the rule of thumb for every woman. I'm just suggesting...if you are inclined to think like I am, reverse the situation:

Would you want your husband to subject himself to any material that could possibly put unrealistic expectations in his head of how you were supposed to behave? My answer is no, so that is why I realize that I don't need to read things like this book.

Now, I didn't finish the book, so I can't give a full report of this, but I do want to make a few brief comments on the character of Bella. As soon as she discovers Edward is a vampire, she is so intrigued by his life that she becomes disgusted with her own humanity. Very quickly, Bella becomes willing to throw away her values, family and friends for a guy she barely knows...and what she does know of him is pretty dangerous.

My pointis not that idenitifying with character of Bella could cause a woman to desire to fall in with a vampire. However, especially by means of social media, it's easy for grown men to have access to young girls and lure them away from home...just by saying (or typing) the right words. Idolizing a character who desires to exchange her created purpose for another life, disobeys her parents and devalues herself is just not the role model I would want my daughter to have.

I don't think you are a bad person if you read this book or if you let your daughter read it. These are simply my own personal convictions and precautions. Sure, there's a chance that I could read this entire series, enjoy it and never put unrealistic expectations on my husband.

But my marriage is too valuable to me to take that chance.

Pumpkin Pancakes

October seems to be the only month we see pumpkins in the grocery store. Coming from a nutrition perspective, that's really a shame! Pumpkins are a low-calorie vegetable that are rich in potassium and loaded with beta-carotene (a powerful antioxidant). Its natural sweetness brings flavor to baked goods without any added guilt.

Here's one of my favorite recipes that I use year-round for breakfast:

To make the batter, mix:

• 1/4 cup oats
• 1/4 cup egg whites
• 1/4 cup pumpkin
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 1 tsp cinnamon

(These measurements make one serving at only 130 calories.)

Since it's so low-calorie, you can add a topping depending on your taste preferences...but keep it healthy! I suggest 1 TBSP of chopped walnuts. Yum!

Mix all ingredients together. Pour onto a hot skillet, and treat it like a normal pancake batter. Eat and enjoy!

Additional Tip:

Don't have time to prepare in the morning? No problem! Whip them up the night before and refrigerate. The next morning, pop them in the microwave for 10 seconds and toast in the toaster on a light setting to keep them crisp. (You can also make a week's batch and freeze to keep them fresh!)

A Thanksgiving Project

My husband and I always look forward to Thanksgiving. Since we're in Texas and our families are in Tennessee, we only see one another two or three times a year. Usually by Thanksgiving, it's been six months since we've seen them, so it's always a fun reunion. Since my dad's parents and sister live about 30 minutes away from James' immediate family, Thanksgiving is unique for us because we get to have both of our immediate families together for at least part of one day. Christmas leaves us driving back and forth between his hometown of Huntingdon in west TN and my hometown of Knoxville in east TN. Thanksgiving gives us as a chance to rest and really enjoy our families.

The only complaint I ever have is just how stuffed I feel as we drive home. In fact, last year as we drove back from Thanksgiving, James and I never really stopped to eat a meal. We were so full from a complete dinner at my aunt's house on Thursday, then another full holiday meal the next day at his grandmother's house. Just yesterday, I recounted this complaint. It's the only thing I dislike about the holiday: feeling uncomfortably stuffed!

God really convicted me of how blessed I am (and have no right to complain) when I discovered across a new organization this morning: Project Nicaragua. Project Nicaragua is the first social project of One Thread Outfitters.

This December, the brains behind the ministry, Mark and Patrick, are kicking things off with a drop to Managua, Nicaragua. They will be traveling with the non-profit organization, Chosen Children Ministries, to deliver food, clothing, and, more importantly, the gospel of Jesus Christ. They will be going to several villages and orphanages in the Managua area, delivering items to men, women, and children in severe need.

Nicaragua is the third poorest country in the Americas, with over 2.3 million of its citizens affected by poverty and a third of whom face extreme poverty. Eighty percent of Nicaragua's roughly 5 million citizens live on less than 2USD a day, meaning a meal a day is not an expectation. That's a staggering statistic.

I was especially convicted when my quiet time this morning included reading Luke 14:12-14:

12 Then Jesus said to his host, "When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. 13 But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, 14 and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous."

I really admire the heart of these two guys...that they would be willing to extend their resources to those in need. But here's the good news! They are only two guys. They need our help!

Click here to visit the ministry website.

By buying a $15 shirt, you will provide a family of four with 40 meals. You can also simply donate the money if you don't want the t-shirt. All money donated goes to straight to paying for food and clothing for the people of this land and to provide the cost of the trip for Mark and Patrick. (All donations are tax-deductible, and you can email them to request a tax donation reciept.)

Want to be more involved? If you have another fundraising idea, you can email them directly from the website. They are more than willing to help you get started in helping this important cause.

You can also just tell more people about them. You can follow them on Twitter at @projnicaragua and join their Facebook group by clicking here.

Hope you are as excited to get involved as I am. I'm vowing to replace complain about eating too much this year with making sure others have food for their families this Thanksgiving. With a ten hour drive back to Texas, I have a feeling my husband will be thankful for that!